CIRCUMVOLUTION
a free for Rex
Hunt
Warning to the reader: This piece attempts to capture the zany commentary style of
ex-Australian Rules footballer, Rex Hunt.
Teams: Navy Blues v. Kangaroos.
and Micky
Martyn cops one high but the man
mountains
pinged for
an offence on The Cranium and big
Mick goes ape droppings
as Mil
snakes out a handpass to Spalding but The Golf Ball
makes a
pigs breakfast of a junior giraffe kick to Diesel
intercepted
by Fairley whos f a a airly good and says Thank your mother
for the
rabbits but charging through is
Schwass Sticker
who props cops one in the mush for his pains
its over the shoulder boulder
holder gains
a free and fires in a rip snorter to
C O
R E Y
on his lonesome who eats those or ought to
un believ able
the Sherrin wouldn’t stick and
now the umpie falls
over again get up you idiot Armstrong The Moon Walker who swoops
on the pill which spills to de Lulio the working man’s half back flanker
hey stacks on the mill now its with The Bow and Arrow Man in
Archer
gingerly dancing through the pack
like Fred Astaire
and transvestites the backside of
the square
oooh kicks a worm burner to the Arkansas Giant in little Rock
whos in more trouble than a
wounded frog in a flock
of seagulls but gets his kick in has it got the . . .
C A
R R Y
over Big Harry McKernan who flies like Clark Kent
golly gee whiz that’s worth some Frequent
Flier points hello there’s a box on behind the play
cream puff stuff just waltzing id say
the Dean’s kicked an absolute
pearler slicing with a nine iron
hit a photographer on the top of
his nut his bald pate is not shining
the boundary umpie throws in Big Harry to Christou
wait for it woof woof you heard it live first on 3AW
a mongrel finger breaker to
Sticks Kernahan who fires
a hospital handpass to some poor
sod masticating a pie in the outer
a comedy of errors old Bill
would’ve been proud of gee I
tell you what the
Shinboners are bombing them in
as Mitchell with the firebreak
haircut is retarded by King
yer know if they were dogs youd hose and shame
them
Jeez Special Fried Rice has been given some
C U
R R Y
tell you what if they don’t extract a digit shortly oh Blakey
ball screams the
crowd up yours says the umpie
theyre playing safe football must be wearing rubbers
not even the Man who walked on
the Red Sea could do a grubber
like the footpad in Scholl whos decraniumalised
hit hard oooh
magnificent stuff and grabbed
by the strides
the Roo Boys are like mice under
the blanket you can keep some
of them in some of the time but
not all of them in all of the time
now it’s the Big Fridge lumbering
after the agate
he cant bend from the
perpendicular pick it
up son pick it up
Roberts finally gathers the leather
in his buckets and launches a
long bomb that sails through the
ether toward the Big Knacker in
Horse Longmire and . . .
C A
R E Y
who descends from the heavens
with the air conveyance
Heaver brick hangs his scone sorry son
if you don’t try and get the
cherry
youre up the creek without a
paddle Carey
muscles bulging like cocoa
pops the Adonis
standing the mark is Koutou fi
des
this for his fourth and he will line up just inside the fifty
say look at the bluebaggers theyre chewing without gum can they lift
as Captain Courageous puts it on
its cir
cum vol u tion
its a ballburster
higher than Joe Cocker
its lofted
and wafted
and pofted
you beauty
Wayne
Carey
has pinged it right through the eye of a needle hes killing em
and up go the two calicoes as Pagans heroes come charging home
Michael Small
footy seasons, 1995-6
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